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Cycle of Addiction

Addictions act in a cyclical fashion. Both long and short term events lead a person to become very anxious (and usually depressed). This results in an agitated, or "toxic," state. Eventually one acts out--engages in the addictive behavior--in order to produce a high feeling and reduce the anxiety. However, acting out becomes a trigger for more acting out and the cycle continues.

Long Term Contributors:

Abuse (sexual, physical, emotional)
Emotionally rigid, detached family
Development of shame throughout childhood
General obsessive tendencies
An obsessive problem solving style
Other addictive behaviors
Long history of depression and anxiety
Negative core beliefs about oneself and relationships
"All or nothing" thinking styles, catastrophizing, other cognitive distortions

Short Term Contributors (Triggers):

People
Places
Things
Toxic feelings
Toxic thoughts
Toxic behaviors

Anxious "Toxic" State:

Loneliness
Sexual preoccupation
Extreme agitation...the desire for relief swallows up all reason and sanity.
Depression and anxiety increase
“I feel horrible, like I'm gonna crawl out of my skin”
“I really feel deprived”
“This is too difficult, I can't stand this.”
“Other people's cravings may be temporary, but not mine”
“Life without lots of sex would be incredibly boring”
“It'll feel great, and this time I will be able to hold onto the feeling” (euphoric recall)
Urges, cravings - strong, emotional and physical impulses to act out

Acting Out:

Behaviors spiral out of control
Gradually involves:
- behaviors that are clearly dangerous and must be stopped to avoid major medical, financial, or legal consequences
- behaviors that could cause one to lose a job or primary relationship
- behaviors that risk physical safety
Watch for...
- Budding signs - behaviors indicating a shaky sobriety
- Rituals - characteristic patterns of behavior that are part of an acting out episode
- Grooming - seductive and/or trust-building behaviors towards others that encourage them to accept sexual advances

Consequences of Acting Out:

Positive (these tend to be short-lived)
- Quick “fix” - an intense “high”, nirvana; in some cases simply a numbing of bad feelings
- Reassurance that everything's ok...ones moods can be controlled by acting out
- Anxiety/depression lessen. Some people report that after acting out they can concentrate for the first time in weeks. If this happens, it tends to happen when acting out is infrequent. As tolerance develops this sense of well-being decreases (if it was present at all).

Negative
- Remorse, shame, self-hatred
- Medical, financial, legal, career, relational, and physical safety problems
- Mood swings - emotional roller coaster
- Tolerance - more and more acting out is required to obtain desired result - mountain top feeling doesn't happen as much
- Withdrawal - physiological/ psychological symptoms occur if acting out behavior is stopped

David C. Bissette, Psy.D. Alexandria, VA 703-705-6161