Learning to Fear Love

Child: Reaches out for love or to express self in some way.
Result: Slap! or withdrawal of parent.

Next day: Child reaches out again.
Result: Slap! or withdrawal of parent.

Next day: Child reaches.
Slap!

Cycle repeats over and over...

Child learns to squelch natural inclination
to reach out because of the pain.

Desire to reach out builds. Conflict about
reaching out vs. self protection intensifies.

Desire to reach out becomes an unwelcome intrusion.

Child: Wants to reach out.
Result: Slaps self.

This page was developed from material presented by Stephen M. Johnson in his excellent technical book, Characterological Transformation. The Hard Work Miracle. (1985). New York: W. W. Norton and Company.

David C. Bissette, Psy.D.       Alexandria, VA       703-705-6161    

© 2004 David C. Bissette, Psy.D.